четверг, 19 апреля 2012 г.

Mindjack

Товарищ Wildduck обнаружил пополнение в списке игр, которым поднасрал Торияма: Mindjack. Ну, то есть, ее главная проблема - в том, что она - неиграбельное говно, судя по отзывам, но строчка "Scenario writer: Motomu Toriyama" тоже многого стоит. Давайте посмотрим на отзывы критиков.
  • story is awful and incomprehensible in that uniquely Japanese way of trying to be Western
  • it begins as a bog-standard spy drama, complete with "unlikely" allies and "unexpected" twists that unfold in a very predictable fashion. Worse, once the plot attempts to engage its dark subject matter, it is so out of sync with the rest of the action that you're likely to wonder if you're misinterpreting things (you're not)
  • a cringe-worthy storyline
  • a story that wouldn't even be compelling enough for a made-for-TV movie
  • The story itself is pretty shallow and hard to follow, thanks to its reliance on nebulous, awkward flashback cutscenes to fill in many of the gaps.
  • The plot runs about as thin as they get, complete with cheesy dialogue and ridiculous action sequences. The end result is a story that's unlikely to evoke anything other than the occasional chuckle.
  • the two are trading weak-sauce banter, shooting computer monitors to open blast doors, and generally refusing to explain their motivations or why the player should care. 
  • I died a little inside when our hero was handed a bazooka, which he accepted with a grin and one raised eyebrow. Oh, the humanity. Things certainly don’t pick up as the game progresses either, with the futuristic setting really doing nothing to hide the ‘beware evil corporations’ message that pervades every scene.
  • Mindjack fails to explain its most basic conflicts and relationships
  • The story is riddled with plot holes and inconsistencies.
  • I’m not about to insult your intelligence by trying to narrate the half-baked storyline
  • There’s little character development and the small amount that is present is hampered by a terrible script as well as wooden voice actors.
  • Mindjack could've take the notion of hacking a human being in new and terrifying directions by demonstrating what it's like to lose control. Instead, you're given an action-adventure in which the main characters utter lines like "You're just full of surprises!" without a hint of irony.
  • Normally a conspiracy plot can be pretty engaging if it is told in the right way. Unfortunately, there are so many things wrong with its presentation that I don't even know where to begin saying how bad it is. The two main characters have no depth and very little personality, mostly due to the poorly written dialogue that's reminiscent of a stereotypical action film. The plot itself is incredibly hard to follow and feels like it was made up at random, especially since there is no real explanation of anything that's actually going on. You'll understand what I'm talking about when you fight your first mechanical gorilla.

Таки да.

7 комментариев:

  1. Ну допустим Торияма мудак, не умеющий писать сценарии. Но должны же где-то быть те, кому его тексты нравятся? Было бы интересно почитать тех, кто отзывается о нём хорошо и глянуть на их аргументы.

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    Ответы
    1. Целая "официальная группа вконтакте" же.
      У них обычно нет аргументов. Айнланзер, о котором тут уже писали, приводит замечательный аргумент, что если боевка в X-3 говно, то игру нужно проходить в постоянном режиме челленджа. С одной стороны, это выход, с другой - констатация факта: боевка в X-3 такая, какая она есть, неиграбельное говно.

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    2. >shooting computer monitors to open blast doors
      Проиграл в голос

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    3. ну вот, например, посмотри, какой пиздец:
      the framing narrative — a mythic science fantasy about existentially restless demigods taking human slaves as metaphorical avatars who, if they fail to achieve their conscripted purpose, metamorphose into hideous creatures doomed to wander without thoughts or emotions (contrast with something like Skyrim’s comparatively banal “you are the dragon-born, go kill some dragons!” plot). And there’s plenty of political allegory as well: The way the game world’s government cracks down on its citizenry, for instance, is a barely veiled assault on the scare-tactics mentality some accuse the U.S. and other governments of engaging in to ram controversial legislation through post-9/11.

      http://techland.time.com/2012/01/24/5-reasons-final-fantasy-xiii-worked/#ixzz1sVEot8S3

      уёбков полно(

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  2. >Also, I hope a piano falls on him

    Повеселили комменты на gamefaqs)))

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  3. Кто бы мог подумать, что шкварка будет выпускать охуенные западные игры и сблев говна японские.

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  4. Это, блядь, худшая хуита из всей хуиты, что высерал на свет Торияма. Это игра не просто плоха. Она реально плоха. Прогнившая, блядь, до нутра.

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