пятница, 3 января 2014 г.

a bit more x-2.5

Маленькая подробность. упущенная ранее:
Как умирает Тидус:

Он видит что-то похожее на блицболл,
пинает его
и взрывается к хуям.

В номинации "самый уебанский способ устранить протагониста" Нодзима только что обошел Масато Като с его хренокроссом.

А, и я еще нашел полный перевод этой злосчастной аудио-драмы. Только там не Чиами, а Чуами должно быть, кажется. Всё под катом.

Tidus: It has been two years since the Eternal Calm began.
I have obtained a new life.
I stayed with Yuna for a year.
It was truly...great.
Chiami: Kurugum and I were walking around the Bevelle stadium (once called the Mika stadium). The stadium was supposed to be completed and open to the public soon so the tournaments can begin, but all I can see is the framework. If it's not finished, I don't know how the council of Spira intends to take responsibility for this....
Well, anyway. It has nothing to do with me.
My problem is this crowd of people, and the shining star standing at the centre...
Kurugum: Chiami, we have to hurry!
Chiami: We're late because I was waiting for you. Hey, isn't that Tidus?
Kurugum: Hm? Oh, it's really him!
Chiami: Let's go see him up close.
Kurugum: Um...right.
Chiami: What? Don't tell me you're nervous...
Kurugum: Heheh...Um...
Chiami: What makes Kurugum so nervous about Tidus isn't his status as a Blitzball superstar. It's because he's one of the legendary guardians, the man who saved Spira along with High Summoner Yuna. In truth, I'm a little nervous too...
He must have known...my father.
Chiami: Tidus, sir. Give it your best!
Tidus: Hiya!
Chiami: "Hiya"? He sounded carefree, but when I shook his hand, it was like he had no strength at all.
Tidus: Well, I have to get going! See ya all at the stadium!
Kurugum: He's really a star...
Chiami: Well, I'll give him that. However...
Kurugum: What?
Chiami: He's hurt. He might be not be well. Anyway, Kurugum. Who do you think will win the championship?
Kurugum: Probably the Besaid Aurochs.
Chiami: What's your second choice?
Kurugum: The Al Bhed Psyches, maybe.
Chiami: Alright, let's go place some bets. We might just make a profit, you know.
Kurugum: I...don't really know about that...
Chiami: Let me introduce us properly. This is my childhood friend, Kurugum. Normally, he would be a summoner, but at these times, he is an official sender of the Spiran council. He specialises in sending people to the Farplane.
My name is Chiami, and I act as his assistant. Though, in truth, I call the shots in this relationship.
Don't get the wrong idea! We're not lovers or anything. Nor will we ever be. I don't know about the future, but this much I'm sure of.
Kurugum: Hey. Let's go.
Chiami: Right, right.
Chiami: We headed to Besaid Island as representatives of the head of the Spiran Council, Baralai. We're running errands.
(On the ship)
Kurugum: Is that Besaid Island?
Chiami: Silly, that's obviously Kilika-
Shipguy: We're approaching Besaid Island! Gather your belongings!
Chiami: Is that a sneer, I hear?
Kurugum: Me? Neve-owowow, that hurts! Cut it out!
Chiami: Our aim is to meet High Summoner Yuna. Right now, she holds the position of the counsellor of Yevoner. That anachronistic doctrine that blindly follows tradition, a band of guardians over all our morals and rules. The trouble the radical Yevoners have caused has died down, but the fact that this group still somehow exists in Spira leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I hate Yevoners. On the other hand, saying that I have no interest in meeting the heroine who defeated Sin and released Spira from a thousand years of hell would be a lie. She must have known my father as well...
(in the village)
Lulu: And? What exactly does the council want?
Kurugum: M-My apologies, mayor Lulu. However, my instructions say that I must speak personally to Lady Yuna-
Wakka: Is that it? Welp, you're expecting us to say there's no helping it and take you to her? Nope.
Lulu: We are here so Yuna need not be disturbed. Well? What is your issue?
Kurugum: But-
Wakka: I guess I can understand your position. Okay, here's what we'll do: I'll take you to where Yuna is and listen to your story on the way.
I almost wanted to say something, but I kept my mouth shut. This huge-boobed mayor and her manservant were legendary guardians as well. Eventually, I might have to inquire them about my father. Picking a fight with them right now is not advised.
(In the temple)
Wakka: This used to be called the Cloister of Trials. Without the Fayth this is just a corridor, but in the past, summoners used to pass through here to get to the Chamber of the Fayth. That's where Yuna is.
Chiami: What is Lady Yuna doing there now? The Fayth are no longer here.
Wakka: She's praying. Even without the Fayth, that is her current job.
Kurugum: What is Lady Yuna praying for?
Wakka: Spira's peace-
Chiami: Crappy lie~
Wakka: Did you say something?
Chiami: Not at all! Say, Wakka, sir...I don't know much about Yevoners. What is your goal? It can't be something like restoring the temples, right?
Wakka: What? No. But it's important, so keep it in mind. Yevoners are not trying to rule the world via the temples as the old Yevon used to. They just teach us to abide by the teachings in our daily lives.
Chiami: I don't see how that is any different from before...
Wakka: The temples used to feed us with outrageous lies, like how Sin was born from our transgressions and that we had to abstain from machina to atone. But besides those, there were pretty respectable things among the teachings. Cherish the blessings of nature, pray, love thy neighbou-
Chiami: So, weren't all those common sense? It's not like you have to be a Yevoner or pray in order to do that.
Wakka: That's what I'm sayin', ya? People lead different livestyles. They're free. How old are you?
Chiami: 17.
Wakka: Then you'll get it soon enough. Adults don't get to change their lives so easily. There are people who cannot catch up with the times changing. Those gather under us Yevoners.
Kurugum: Is it different from New Yevon?
Wakka: New Yevon was just using Yevon's name to gather faithful followers. They were looking ahead, to the future.
Chiami: So apparently Yevoners look to the past, eh?
Wakka: That's not what I meant! Anyway, New Yevon is no more. It's now become the council. Nothing we can do about it, ya?
Chiami: By the sound of things, Yevoner is apparently a place for the weak to gather.
Kurugum: Chiami!
Wakka: Don't be so smug about it. We're all aware of it, ya?
Chiami: If you're aware of it, then you shouldn't be holing yourselves in this place. You should make an effort to improve the lives out there. Does thinking that just your prayers preserve Spira's peace make you happy with yourselves?
Wakka: Chiami, ya? Try to be a little more open-minded. And nicer. Those that think like you hurt those people.
Chiami: The way he said "those people" made me curious. It's as if he was talking about someone else.
Wakka: Wait here, ya? I'll go get Yuna. But only talk to her about what you were sent for. No picking on her like you did to me, or you'll be shown the door.
Chiami: "Picking"...maybe I did. It made me angry. Praying for Spira's peace? At such a time...
My mother died on a Yevoner hunt.
The hunter's spear pierced through her chest, and she bled to death.
She wasn't even a Yevoner! She just sympathized with their plight!
If only these Yevoners didn't exist...!
Kurugum: Chiami! I know how you feel, but right now, we have a job to do.
Chiami: I know.
Kurugum: Please—oh, the Lady Yuna.
Yuna: Good day. Allow me to welcome you to Besaid, village of the Yevoners. I am Yuna, the High Priest.
Kurugum: An honour to meet you. I am Kurugum, an official sender. I had always wanted to meet you in person—oh, the head of the council, Lord Baralai, has sent something for you—
Yuna: I see. Then please, leave it here and go.
Chiami: Wait a minute...didn't you hear what he just said? He's always wanted to meet you! What do you-
Kurugum: Er, no, no, it's fine! Lady Yuna must be busy.
Chiami: Kurugum. You keep quiet.
Kurugum: But Lady Yuna said she's busy—
Chiami: To do what? Eat? Sleep? She doesn't even have time to talk to people who came all the way from Bevelle?
Yuna: I'm sorry, but I can't interrupt my prayers...
Chiami: I think Spira will be peaceful enough if it goes five minutes without prayer. Even when fights break out here and there, it's the council that mediates between them.
Yuna: Hmmm. You're right.
Wakka: Hey! I told you to cut that out, ya? Just give us what you were supposed to.
Kurugum: Yes sir! Here it is!
Chiami: Kurugum handed Yuna a recording sphere entrusted to him by Lord Baralai. It contained a recording of the Moonflow. A huge, yet tame animal called a shoopuff was standing with another of its kind, binding their trunks together peacefully.
Wakka: Two shoopuffs?
Kurugum: The second one just appeared there one morning.
Wakka: Where did it even come from?! Wasn't the Moonflow shoopuff supposed to be the last of its kind?
Kurugum: There were two up until three years ago, but it appears the male one was attacked and killed by Sin. There is evidence that this is the same shoopuff.
Yuna: It must have been...called.
Wakka: No other explanation, I s'ppose...
Yuna: However, this wasn't Yevoner. I have forbidden summons outside the Farplane.
Kurugum: I don't know the details, but Lord Baralai tasked us with showing this to you and then escorting you back to Bevelle.
Yuna: Kurugum. You are a sender, correct? You can do this too. This shoopuff is an illusion created by pyreflies. If you send it, it will settle the matter.
Kurugum: That isn't the only issue.
Chiami: Pyreflies float together again. They were always active in the Moonflow, but something like this can't be normal. We have to investigate the source of this phenomenon and find out who called this shoopuff. I thought this was the Yevoners' handiwork. So did the council. That's why Lady Yuna has to come and explain things. Her opinion carries the heaviest weight, after all.
Wakka: Baralai...that damn...! Does he intend to have Yuna handle the whole council?
Yuna: Wakka...
Wakka: He promised he'd keep Yuna out of politics! That's why this...
Chiami: "This"?
Yuna: I'm sorry. I can't go. But then you'd get in trouble...ok, here's what we'll do: I'll write a letter sphere for you to take back to Baralai.
Chiami: We met Tidus in Bevelle. He's your lover, correct?
Yuna: Yes. Was he well?
Chiami: He was trying to hide it, but he looked hurt.
Yuna: Really? Wakka, did you know?
Wakka: Errr...no.
Chiami: You must be worried now...
Kurugum: Chiami...
Yuna: So that's how it is...
Wakka: Yuna. Let's go talk with Lu.
Yuna: Yes.
Chiami: When we exited the temple, they left us alone for a bit. I don't know what those people are talking about, but I'm sure of one thing. What sparked Yuna into action wasn't our plight, but the possibility that her boyfriend was hurt.
Chiami: Kurugum. I'm kinda...pissed off.
Kurugum: But we did our job. Although, I would have liked to talk to Lady Yuna a bit more. I have always wanted to ask her what a summoner's life is like now that there are no Fayth. Chiami, you should ask about Sir Aur-
Chiami: Hush! If they knew I was his daughter, they would treat me differently. This info is my ultimate weapo-
Lulu: Sir Auron's daughter?
Chiami: Mayor?!
Lulu: Is that true?
Chiami: It is. Why are you laughing!
Lulu: Have you ever lived together with him?
Chiami: No, but I heard from my mother—
Lulu: Have you met him?
Chiami: I was too young, so I don't remember.
Lulu: Hmmm....
Chiami: That proves nothing!
Lulu: But you don't look like him at all...
Chiami: I take after my mother.
Lulu: That other child looked more like him.
Chiami: Huh?
Lulu: Auron, Braska, Jecht...many imposters like to identify themselves as their children and ask for their belongings.
Chiami: You...you think I'm one of them? Are you calling my mother a liar?!
Lulu: I wouldn't go that far. But if Sir Auron had a child, there is no way you would not remember him. Nor would he hide it from us. That's the kind of person he was.
Chiami: Just because your rack is huge, you think you can act superior...Just because you knew Auron, you think you can say whatever you want?! That does it: this mayor is the enemy. Whatever. We'll eventually get to the bottom of this.
Anyway, we (myself, Kurugum, Yuna and her escort, Wakka) passed by the Moonflow before heading to Bevelle. The airship was broken, so the journey was harder than I imagined. A big crowd had gathered to observe the two Shoopuffs at the river.
Wakka: There's really two of them! Shoopuffs! And this is quite a crowd of onlookers!
Yuna: Wakka...it's a bit different. Half of these people are illusions. They are visions that pyreflies conjure by reacting with the thoughts of the living. It's just like the Farplane.
Kurugum: Yes.
Chiami: Kurugum? You can tell?
Kurugum: I can. For instance, that family there. The father and the daughter are alive, but that poor mother...
Chiami: I've never actually been to the Farplane, but they look pretty alive to me.
Yuna: They're a little different...almost like the real thing...
Father: Meilu, let's go. It'll be dark soon.
Meilu: Ok. Mum will be coming hom with us, right?
Father: That...isn't possible.
Meilu: Why! We just came to see her!
Father: Then let's come back here again. We can see her.
Meilu: NO! I want to go home with her!
Chimai: Uuugh, what a no good father. What did he expect? Having the girl say goodbye to her mother for a second time since she died is just cruel.
Meilu: Mummy! Let's go home! Together!
Mother: Yes, meilu...let's go home...
Meilu: Really?
Father: No way...
Kurugum: Lady Yuna...did you see this?
Yuna: I can't believe this...
Chiami: Kurugum! Explain.
Kurugum: Illusions that are called by pyreflies cannot speak. To be more precise, they cannot hear voices.
Chiami: Then, they're not illusions? They could be real?
Yuna: We must report to the council as soon as possible.
Chiami: Yes, let's go. Hey, Kurugum! What are you doing! Don't surprise me like this!
Kurugum: If we don't send them...this will only distort the order of things.
Yuna: Kurugum. Let's just stop now. We'll just make them all sad.
Kurugum: But this is strange! It's abnormal, unnatural! If the council knew...that's why they contacted you, Lady Yuna! So you could do something!
Yuna: Even so, we cannot do this now. No one has the right to interfere with this reunion. Not us, and not the council.
Chiami: Just look at how happy they are. If you send them all, we'll just end up getting hit in the face. You'll even get me involved! Gimme a break...
Wakka: Before we proceed with any sendings, why don't we calm down first? Let's come back later.
Kurugum: But—
Yuna: Kurugum. Please.
Chiami: And so we returned to Bevelle.
Kurugum: Chiami, that's loud...
Chiami: Hmph! Just how long are we gonna wait?
Kuru: More importantly...
Chiami: "More importantly?" There's something more important than my question? Iiiiis there?
Kuru: When I stopped the sending, Lady Yuna looked relieved.
Chiami: I guess.
Kuru: I thought Lady Yuna was a just person.
Chiami: You admired her too much. Set your expectations too high.
Kuru: Perhaps...
Chiami: Thinking back, I should have been able to guess this would happen. What we saw at the Moonflow was not just an omen. It was the beacon for its resurrection. Before my eyes was...Sin.
Kuru: Sin...no way...Chiami! That has to be just some huge monster!
Yuna: No...that is Sin...Sin, who is not supposed to exist anymore!
Kuru: You mean...someone wished and called him back?!
Yuna: Yes...someone who strongly sought Sin.
Chiami: What are we gonna do!
Yuna: The only thing that can defeat Sin is the Final Summoning.
Kuru: But without the Fayth...!
Wakka: Yuna! Let's go back to Besaid. They'll just pile this on you. No one cares about the Fayth. Once they see Sin, it's all about the summoner handling it. Kuru, are you coming?
Kuru: I will trust Lady Yuna's judgement!
Yuna: I...have to meet Tidus.
Chiami: What the hell is wrong with this woman!
(Chiami is pacing in the hallway)
Kuru: Chiami...
Chiami: How long is this wait gonna be?
Kuru: Chiami! This room is...!
Chiami: Hush!
Kuru: Chiami! Eavesdropping is bad!
Chiami: Don't you want to know what the High Summoner and the Blitzball star are saying? Now hush!
Tidus: What do you mean?
Yuna: You have that girl, don't you?
Tidus: I told you, Marfi is just a friend!
Yuna: Is that true?
Tidus: Yuna. If you think about it, you'll see.
Yuna: I can't.
Tidus: This isn't like you.
Yuna: You're right...I'm acting weird. I'm sorry.
Tidus: If you acknowledge it, then it's fine.
Yuna: That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I can't see you anymore.
Tidus: Eh?
Yuna: I found someone that I like.
Tidus: Uh...Who?
Yuna: It's...someone you don't know.
Tidus: Then let me meet him!
Yuna: I'm sorry.
Chiami: Kuru...this came completely out of left field. This woman is having a lovers' quarrel now of all times? Hey, Kuru! Why are you crying?
Kuru: Chiami...I'm sorry. I love Lady Yuna...so I can't be with you. I'm sorry...
Chiami: What is that about? When did we ever...? I don't get you!
Kuru: If you don't feel like that, then it's fine. Yes, this is better...let's part ways here. We have to become independent.
Chiami: Kuru?
Kuru: You can't understand. Only summoners can.
Chiami: Ah. You finally said it. It's over.
Kuru: I'm sorry.
Chiami: Do what you want!
Chiami: Separated from the summoners, I returned to Besaid. A lot of crazy things happened and I wasn't thinking clearly, but I feel I may be drawn to those who have already defeated Sin once. I can't help but worry that this burden is too heavy for Kuru...
Tidus: And that's what happened.
Lulu: That's why you ran back here? I'll start laughing.
Tidus: Who do you think is this guy that Yuna likes?
Lulu: Use your head.
Tidus: But she said I don't know him!
Lulu: (sighs)
Tidus: What?
Lulu: Search and you'll find him.
Tidus: Buuuut...!
Lulu: You sad, sad man! I thought you understood Yuna a little better.
Tidus: I intended to, but...
Lulu: But.
Chiami: More importantly, Sin. I'm worried about them. What if this is aimless?
Lulu: And if it's not?
Chiami: Eh?
Lulu: Sin has been revived, yes? If something else can also be revived, then the return of Sin is not surprising.
Chiami: I didn't really understand what she meant, so I looked at Tidus. That man's eyebrows were raised, his gaze fixated on the mayor with his eyes widening in surprise.
Lulu: We have to go.
Tidus: ...Yeah.
Chiami (is apparently in a ship somewhere, since it's the Moonflow music): As always, I couldn't understand. But I couldn't ask. All I finally managed to ask was...
Chiami: I wonder where they are?
Tidus: Wherever they go, I'll follow.
Yuna: Even though she abandoned you?
Tidus: I promised I'd always be with her.
Chiami: I wondered why he sounded so fond of her. After seeing his face in pain though, I could do nothing but keep quiet.
(Yuna is in a stadium with people cheering)
Yuna: I will defeat Sin. I must defeat Sin!

17 комментариев:


  2. Тидус, взорвавшийся от удара по бб - это как нигга, отравившийся в KFC. Драматургия.

  3. Так ты будешь HD римейк проходить?

  4. Ответы
    1. На Геймфаке пишут, что мяч остался от войны 1000-летней давности... они там были что-то вроде мин.
      Если это так, то его смерть становится еще глупее! (хотя, куда уж больше...)

  5. да эт тотальная хуета

    то есть как бы. X-2 можно продолжить, по-разному. рассказом, или социальной игрой, или jRPG, или там, даже ММО какой-нибудь, лишь бы грамотно сделано было. Там относительно живой мир, восстанавливающийся после катастрофы, после Sin, учится но-новому жить. И как в X-2 видно, вполне есть чем народу заняться. Добавить, что в том же Бевель мы ни разу не были, только в его тюрьме и храме, с которого внизу виден огромный город.

    но вот это всё, честно говоря, больше похоже на фанфик двух девочек, или мальчиков, или кто они там, которые "а давай добавим короче себя в рассказ и син вернулся ну такие дела".

    Щюпаф кстати последний вряд ли, ибо с чего бы.

    Юна кстати в 10-2 вполне так переросла всю эту храмоту, особенно после 10, где вся эта якобы религия использовалась только для промывания мозгов, и вот здесь она "молится" в "чамбер оф фейт", куда уже даже в X-2 народу западло было заходить, ибо смысла не было.

    тидусы с бабами, дети ауронов, я люблю юну.

    Гарантирую, сценарий сего дерьма писала дочка кого-то из шишек в SE и это всё её пиар. Причём дочке лет 15. Скорее всего она даже не симпатичная.

    кстати добавлю, по канону, Юна не могла выбрать Евонскую сторону после этого всего, и уж никак не могла стать "высшей жрицей", ибо в политической войне выбрала сторону Лиги, и в Бевель её 80% игры просто не пускают.

  6. >Он видит что-то похожее на блицболл, пинает его и взрывается к хуям.
    Идёт Тидус, видит - блицболл лежит. Пнул его и взорвался.
    А вообще, грустная история, даже смерть от банановой кожуры как-то адекватнее выглядит.

  7. В этом всём обещает быть интересной аж одна линия - превращение Yevoners в консервативное бюрократическое говно. И ту засрут, потому что хорошие социальные сюжеты в нынешней скваре писать некому. Так-то.

    1. Как будто Ебон не был консервативным бюрократическим говном.

  8. ТД, я, конечно, не всегда соглашаюсь с тобой, но это трандец. Я думал, ты 10 опустишь в обзоре, но это сделали сами сквари. Давно пора покупать приставки от нинтендо

  9. А кто мне объяснит где именно вступает в историю мяч, который убивает Тидуса? Я, вроде, внимательно прочитал, но, кроме "he looked like he was hurt" ничего не увидел.

    Сам опус особой радости не доставил. Это fayth теперь как apperifier из хоумстака работают, что ли? Тогда я могу проспойлерить концовку FF X-3: Юна проводит очередной сендинг и отправляет Тидуса вслед за Сином и остальными "иллюзиями". Типа трагично и всё такое. Но Square Enix уже хрен поймёшь, может начали пихать новые элементы "шоб було".

    1. >А кто мне объяснит где именно вступает в историю мяч, который убивает Тидуса?
      Это в книге, а не в аудиодраме. Книга сильно раньше.

  10. После Шкварешниковских литературных высеров по семерке я уже ничему не удивляюсь.
    Хотя тут видимо совсем пиздец.

    >обошел Масато Като с его хренокроссом

    Учитывая что Хренокросс полностью самостоятельное произведение и от прошлого в лице Хренотриггера нужно было как-то избавляться.
    Да и в чем проблема, FATE всех нагнул все ок.

  11. >Чуами

    Тьфу ты, даже имена и те какие-то уебанские.

  12. Касательно "взрывается к хуям". Тут сделали более подходящую гифку: https://31.media.tumblr.com/9040d0c5b6182a02f8281d048c43c1c7/tumblr_mz965pbBph1t6n7n9o1_400.gif

  13. Я уже более получаса остановиться от смеха не могу, представляя картину взрыва Тидуса